The ‘Fyre Festival of pizza’ was so bad it’s under investigation

The ‘Fyre Festival of pizza’ was so bad it’s under investigation

 

This literal cartoon pizza would have been an improvement.
Image: Victoria pineapple/shutterstock

If there’s one thing New Yorkers take seriously, it’s pizza. Which is why it makes total sense that the New York attorney general has reportedly opened an inquiry into a possibly criminally shitty pizza festival.

On Monday, Gothamist reported that attendees of the September 9 New York City Pizza Festival might have been seriously scammed.

As a result of social media complaints about the disparity between what was promised by the event, and the pizza-lacking disaster that materialized, WNYC reports that the office of New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman has “opened an inquiry” into the event.

It’s believed to be the brainchild of party planner Ishmael Osekre and a group called Aputumpu —which no longer has a profile on either Eventbrite or Facebook. 

The Attorney General’s office is also asking attendees to submit accounts of their experiences as a “consumer complaint” on the attorney general’s website so that they can investigate.

“We are concerned about the online complaints that we’ve seen,” a spokesman told NPR.

Festival-goers paid up to $74 for the festival, billed as “a day long celebration of the dough, cheese, tasty sauces and delicious toppings.” Instead, they got long lines, delayed entry, and mostly empty tables entirely devoid of tastiness in a Brooklyn parking lot. 

One festival attendee, Connell Burke, told Gothamist, “it was like the people from Fyre Festival decided to throw a pizza party.” Yeah, Ja Rule is literally never living that one down.

As for the pizza, the festival reportedly provided a few pies of cold pizza, cut up and served as tiny baby slices on teensy tiny baby plates for babies, NOT suitable for adults hangry for delicious pizza.

Gothamist also shared that when festival goer Christian Fuentes inquired about the lack of “cheese, tasty sauces, and delicious toppings” all assembled onto a fluffy-meets-chewy pizza pie, the organizer replied that the “deliveries were just late.” SMH.

Ok, one more wild thing: the pizza festival was also supposed to be a BURGER FESTIVAL! An event page for the “New York City Burger Festival” still exists and advertises a day of burgers and fries at the exact time, date, and location as the pizza festival. That is just an affront. To both pizza and burgers. Why do they not each get their own festival in their own crappy parking lots?! Why doesn’t the Attorney General look into THAT, HMM?

Now, festival-goers have banded together to get their money back in a Pizza Festival Scam Victims Facebook page. Which, commendably, has a very descriptive group profile pic.

Earlier Wednesday, the event organizer apologized on its Facebook pages and is promising to refund all tickets for the pizza/burger fest fiasco.

But, depending on how fast the New York Attorney General moves when there may be a pizza-related crime afoot, it might be too late to ‘pologize … too late.

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